“Before, I had a very negative view on abortion. I thought I would never have an abortion in my life. I once interned at a hospital 10 years ago and saw a 14-year-old patient having a uterine curettage. The doctor performed it, and I remember seeing the tissue coming out in pieces, feeling that it was something that shouldn’t be done…”
These are the words of a nurse who came to see Uncle Doctor one day.
“But I don’t judge people who have abortions as bad, but I think if it were me, I wouldn’t do it. I would be strong…”
She thought she could be strong, but when it happened to her, she understood that people have many reasons, and the choices are not just about sin and merit. It’s about different ways of living for each person.
On May 24, 2017, a 30-year-old woman working as a nurse at a state hospital came to consult about pregnancy. She said that for the past 5 years, she had been living with her boyfriend without having children, even though they didn’t use any birth control. This made her believe she might have difficulty conceiving because the man had children before, but she never got checked for the cause. They eventually broke up, and now she has a new boyfriend for 3 months. The man used withdrawal as a method to prevent her from getting pregnant. She didn’t use any contraception because she believed she was hard to get pregnant. The last time they had sex was on May 1, and the boyfriend ejaculated inside. She didn’t take emergency contraception. Her last period was on March 25, 2017. When April came, her period was missed, but she didn’t check if she was pregnant because she believed she wasn’t. Moreover, her period came every 2 months, and she had no symptoms related to pregnancy, so she thought it would come next month…
Do you think she was right?
Later, she felt something was wrong. How was it? If she smelled perfume, she would feel nauseous, even though she usually liked the smell of perfume and never had such symptoms. So she immediately took a urine test, not just once but morning and evening, and found two lines both times. She was pregnant!
It was clear that she misunderstood. Uncle Doctor said that if she had tested within the first 7 days after missing her period, it would have been correct and better, which would mean a small pregnancy of about 5 weeks, still a small amniotic sac about 1 cm in size, not yet appearing as an embryo. Or better yet, test after having unprotected sex for 2 weeks to know early if pregnant or not.
She thought… and thought again… about what to do next. During this time, she was so stressed that she didn’t eat anything, even though she used to eat a lot before. She couldn’t sleep, thinking back and forth, consulting her boyfriend, searching for information about pregnancy and abortion on various websites. There were many concerns, from not being confident in her boyfriend to having taken a lot of medication before. She took antibiotics prescribed by the doctor for a 3-week inflamed tooth root problem and continued taking weight loss pills until the day she took the urine test because she didn’t think she was pregnant.
When she thought back about taking various medications, she was very uneasy. If the child was born disabled, she didn’t know how long she could take care of him. There was no one at home, and there would be problems with childcare. As for her boyfriend, she didn’t know him well enough to feel confident that he would take good care of her and the child.
Like other women facing such problems, she began to search for information on the internet. The information she wanted to know was about services that help and provide consultation on abortion. She found the Family Planning Association of Thailand or FPA. She found information about an abortion pill called Cytotec. She read reviews where people posted about ordering pills from the web but not getting the real ones. Some used the pills and didn’t abort, so they had to continue the pregnancy. Some called the web asking what to do if they didn’t abort, and they were told to buy another set of pills. By the time they got the pills for abortion again, it was too late, and the pregnancy was 6 months along. The aborted child didn’t die, or sometimes there was bleeding, and they had to go to the hospital…
She said she read Uncle Doctor’s stories from the website too. She didn’t want it to be as Uncle Doctor said but wanted pills that were guaranteed and had someone responsible.
“If you buy pills from the net, there’s no guarantee of safety. Some continue the pregnancy, and the child is disabled. I want to know how to do it correctly and safely.”
“I found a website that said there are volunteer doctors and nurses from RSA who perform abortions for women with unplanned pregnancies. They advised consulting a clinic in the network project. In my province, there is an FPA clinic. I contacted them…”
She said there was a doctor named Dr. Thanaphan Chuboon who posted on www.gotoknow.org about helping with abortions in Khon Kaen for the second time. After reading it, it made her feel better and more encouraged.
“During the 3 days I was deciding and choosing a way out, at first, when I decided to have an abortion, I felt very sinful.”
“What struck me the most was the teacher’s words that understanding that Buddhist society cannot accept it, you must keep the child whether disabled or not. But the teacher thought it would help him continue his studies, give him a new life, which made me feel less sinful.”
She saw that Thai society does not accept children continuing their studies if they are pregnant. They would definitely be ostracized. She once talked to a foreigner with a crippled leg who said he wished his mother had aborted him, questioning how one would know if the child would be happy or not living with such a disability. She praised the staff at this clinic for being very good at talking, listening a lot, not judging, and not saying anything that made her feel judged.
Her final words were, “Especially as a medical professional with an unplanned pregnancy, it’s even harder to find support because everyone expects you to be knowledgeable. Why didn’t you know how to prevent it? Most of them don’t listen to our reasons.”
Uncle Doctor thinks it’s worth considering… A woman having an unplanned pregnancy has reasons, and importantly, no woman intentionally gets pregnant to have an abortion!
With love and care,
Dr. Ruangkit Sirikanchanakul, RSA Network Coordinator