Run, just run. If you can’t think of anything, just go for a run. Yesterday, during the training to become a teacher for non-medical academic teaching from a pilot instructor, I was intrigued by the topic of “asking questions.”
Ask to make the learners think. The answers obtained can lead to further questions. Ask to guide towards answers that align with the learning objectives. Before the class ended, the teacher mentioned that today there would be a session on lesson planning, requiring clear goals and objectives to be written down.
How clear? It must be specific, truly measurable, truly achievable, relevant to what you want to do, and appropriate for the time. Never mind, don’t worry about it now, because I’m probably not skilled enough to summarize it into beautiful words or make it simple. Importantly, I can’t even think of what to do yet. So, I need a helper, which is to use endorphins to stimulate the creative part of the brain.
“Endorphins”
Thinking of endorphins, I think of orgasm.
Crazy, thinking about work, and I need an orgasm. My wife would be furious.
So, I guess I can only rely on endorphins from running.
……………………….
Today, January 24, 2019
My lesson started with “observing behavior.” The teacher showed a clip from the movie “Wife 2018” and asked us to observe the characters’ behaviors. This lesson made me understand that reality and interpreting reality based on emotions and feelings are not the same. But we often interpret what we see based on our feelings, like how Ploy looked at that mistress with satisfaction.
See, just the behavior of “looking,” we interpret it based on emotions and experiences. And sometimes, we even add feelings of resentment. It seems okay, but it’s not really okay because how can we know what’s in their heart?
That person is crying. They might be sad, but don’t forget that some people cry when they’re happy, moved (I often do), or in pain.
Crying is the behavior we see, while sadness, happiness, or even pain is our own interpretation. Quickly judging others based on what we see can lead to bias or misunderstandings. Judging others is always easy; it happens faster than a blink of an eye.
Next is the practice of “listening.”
Through listening activities, I realized it’s not easy.
Because the teacher started by having us tell our partner about our love stories.
How can it be easy when I’ve had love throughout my life? Which part should I tell? Before age 7 with that girl in the district of Lang Suan, or in late elementary school when I dreamed of a girl I met under a tree and believed she was my soulmate? Or in the real world, where I started having serious love from grades 4, 5, and 6, with a break in grades 7 to 9 because I was in an all-boys school, but I still had deep feelings for her.
In high school, I had love stir my heart 3 or 4 more times. By university… oh, just thinking about it makes my eyes moist and nose wet. See, today’s lesson makes me uncomfortable because before you can listen well, you have to be able to tell stories. What story should I tell? Do you feel sorry for me?
Many times we listen but don’t hear.
Many times we listen without paying attention.
Many times we listen and argue before the speaker finishes.
Many, many times, I’m still a lousy listener.
Listening with the heart is what the teacher is trying to convey.
Good listening heals the speaker. Believe it or not, because sometimes they speak to us just to have us in their heart, to acknowledge their feelings, to accept their thoughts as they are or feel.
During this time, I shed tears watching a clip of Khun Pae Arak and listening that will change the rest of his life.
Listening that heals both the speaker and the listener.
I deeply miss that person.
“Are you going to tell the doctor that you’re going back to that same man?” I asked a woman I’ve known for a long time when she came to get a contraceptive injection. Judging by the tone, you can understand that I’m judging her about something because I already knew that this partner of hers had decided to separate due to arguments and physical abuse.
“Yes, doctor.” She probably smiled with something on her mind.
If I had attended today’s class earlier, I would have chosen to ask differently.
“Are you getting a contraceptive injection because you’re going to have sex soon?” See how different it is.
In the first instance, I assumed she was going to have sex with that man, which she shouldn’t because he had been abusive. But in the second instance, I just asked about the normal behavior of contraception.
“How do you feel? Why does it have to be that same person?” I continued to probe.
“I don’t know, doctor.” She probably hesitated a bit at my question.
“So you love him, right?” I smiled.
She nodded.
“Sometimes, it’s hard to explain, doctor. Love, longing, affection, it’s very hard to explain,” she began to explain.
“Interesting,” I expressed interest, even though I wasn’t really eager to know more, just felt that she wanted to share more.
“When we’re angry, we’re angry. When we argue, he sometimes loses control, but normally, he takes good care of me. Even after breaking up for a long time, I know he never had anyone else.” Ah, love makes people blind again. This is my judgment again, echoing from my heart, but I quickly set it aside and continued my duty. I looked into her eyes instead of speaking.
Silence for a moment.
“You love him,” I said in a soft, gentle voice.
“Yes,” she smiled, relieved to have answered that way. Then the blood pressure check, weighing, and contraceptive injection proceeded.
“Take care of yourself, and don’t forget to take care of your child’s heart too,” I concluded before we ended our conversation.
I still need to practice my listening skills a lot more.
I’ve gone far, back to today’s lesson.
This time, it ended with creating a short learning process.
I had only 5 minutes to introduce myself, state the purpose of the conversation, use a short time, and then lead into the main discussion. As time was almost up, I summarized the conversation.
It ended beautifully because I prepared since last night.
I started running at 8:30 PM, planning to run about 8 kilometers. My thoughts were all over the place, thinking until I forgot the fatigue, but they were still scattered. Some things were bothering me, so I took this opportunity to clear them out bit by bit.
This coming Monday, I have to give a lecture on abortion at the “sex symposium” conference. How should I speak in just 20 minutes? I know that the opposition to abortion continues, and there are new issues to deal with. How will I solve the problem? I think about many things but can’t think of the group project topic.
Almost the last lap, I ran behind an elderly couple, a retired couple.
They were probably walking to digest their dinner (walking is behavior, but digesting dinner is my assumption).
They walked hand in hand, looking cute (holding hands is behavior, but looking cute is my interpretation).
Oh, look, the lady reached out to hug her husband’s waist (seeing the hand behind is behavior, but hugging is an assumption because the light was dim). I ran closer to them, feeling energized by their love spreading around. See, they’ve loved each other for a long time and still show no signs of fading. The lady hugged the man’s waist.
But wait…
It’s not… the hand I saw and thought was the lady hugging the man’s waist was actually the man reaching to scratch his own butt. And then I immediately thought of the group project topic.
Thank you, uncle, for scratching your butt from the heart.
Thanaphon Chuboon, itchy butt
January 24, 2019