Today, I drove out of the house to have breakfast as usual. On a Sunday morning like this, I turned on the radio to listen to familiar songs. This station plays old Western songs from when I was young, all the way until noon. Listening to it always feels great without any commercial interruptions.
“Pretty boy,” a Western song by the duo M2M, came on and lifted my spirits. Normally, I’m not that crazy about international music. I’m more into Thai bands like Micro and Nuvo. But I got hooked on this song because a part of being a father is having to carry your child on your shoulder and lull them to sleep.
I remember when my daughter Pang was in her mother’s womb, I would almost talk to her every night. I would rub my wife’s belly and talk to my daughter, calling her “Pang” even before we met. Sometimes when she kicked, I would gently tap her back.
Her mother would often rub her belly and sing lullabies like “Little Dove” to the baby. But the best time to observe the baby’s behavior in the womb was at night because it was calm and quiet. We could tell what kind of greetings the baby liked.
I knew that Pang didn’t like my singing voice.
Whenever I sang to her, she would go still every time. If she was kicking around playfully and I started singing, Pang would stop moving for a while. It happened so often that her mother asked me not to sing lullabies to her anymore. That song was reserved for her mother to sing alone; my voice was not up to par.
Oh…
When Pang was born, there was a time when I had to take care of her myself because my wife had to go to Bangkok to prepare for her ophthalmology exams for about two months. What was I to do? I only had a little milk, and the baby couldn’t latch on. She wouldn’t take formula either, so I had to carry her on my shoulder and play M2M’s songs for her. From the first song to the fifth, which was Pretty boy, she relaxed and fell asleep on my shoulder.
Gently, I laid her down in the crib, waiting for her mouth to open slightly, then I gave her the bottle, which she drank in one go. Then I burped her on my shoulder again, and we continued to sleep.
Every time I hear the song Pretty boy, my heart feels refreshed.
Now, Pang has grown up, and she’s about to leave home to study at university. There are some things a father needs to prepare for, so I have to manage.
“Pang, let’s learn how to use a condom,” I said. If anyone has read what I’ve written for a while, they might remember that I’ve talked about this with my daughter before.
“Oh, Dad, where are you rushing off to?” she lamented.
“Well, you’re going to study in Bangkok, so I have to assess whether you can protect yourself in this matter. If you meet a handsome boyfriend, you might lose yourself,” I explained.
“And make sure to carry one with you,” I continued, while her mother smiled.
“If you’re being kissed on the neck until your knees go weak, it won’t be the right time to go out and buy a condom,” this time she laughed……………….
I think this is a very important matter.
Teaching my daughter like this, in truth, I have some deep reasons.
It’s to let her know that she’s grown up, can choose her way of life, and must be safe.
I’m not imagining that my daughter will go out looking for men to sleep with or offer herself for quick sex just because she knows how to use a condom and her father allows it. Because in the process of living life, she has been taught, seen, and talked to since she can remember.
But teaching her to use a condom is a necessity in life to avoid diseases and not get pregnant before the right time. And importantly, if she does end up having sex, she won’t regret it, fearing her father knowing or her mother scolding her.
“If you’re going to have sex, make sure it’s enjoyable. Don’t lose yourself for nothing. Don’t worry about getting diseases or getting pregnant,” I once told her. See, I didn’t tell her to go try having sex.
“There’s one more thing to be careful about, my dear,” I said, and she rolled her eyes slightly to indicate she was listening.
“When you have sex, don’t let the guy take pictures or record videos,” this time she pouted.
“Who would do that?” Pang smiled, showing her teeth.
“You know, I wanted to take pictures when having sex with your mom so badly, but I never did. I’ve forgotten what your mom looked like when she was young. It’s such a pity,” I said with a long sigh.
“Smack” My wife was probably embarrassed in front of our daughter.
“But the reason I didn’t take any is because the pictures could leak, my dear. Photos on phones can be recovered, and so can those on computers. It’s all too easy. You should know that,” she nodded in understanding.
“There are a lot of bad guys out there, my dear. Finding someone as good as your dad is going to be haaaaaard,” I said, making the bread in her mouth fly out. The waiter in the restaurant chuckled because it coincided with serving avocado salad and rocket leaves at our table. I don’t know if she laughed because she saw a good-looking guy or because the bread flew out of Pang’s mouth.
……………
A long time ago, when my daughter was still young,
I wanted to watch porn, really wanted to. Back then, the internet was terrible, so I had to go out and buy VCDs at the market. There were so many, too many to choose from.
The indecisiveness might not have been entirely accurate because, in reality, I was too shy to choose. I felt embarrassed, my face flushed, and I was hot, so I just walked back and forth, standing still sometimes.
After almost 2 hours, I still didn’t dare to pick one up. I walked until I was drenched in sweat.
I decided I had to get one.
I stopped in front of a shop. There were about 20 explicit nude films on display. Looking at them made my heart race, both from excitement and the strong determination to pick one up.
“Alright, this one should be good,” I thought to myself. It probably didn’t matter which one I picked.
“Teaaaaacher,” a voice called, and my outstretched hand quickly retracted. I turned to find a young man, a medical student, greeting me. I returned the greeting.
“Teacher, this is my mom and dad. They came to visit, so I brought them shopping,” he introduced me to his parents.
“Hello,” I greeted them with a wai, sweat dripping down my chest, my heart racing, my face flushed like a woman in menopause.
“If I had a porn CD in my hand, it would be quite a sight,” I thought to myself.
“Are you here to buy a movie, teacher?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” I replied, turning to the seller.
“I’ll take a copy of Lord of the Rings, Part 2,” I told the seller.
He smiled and handed me the CD I requested.
“Lord of the Rings”
I really hate this movie, damn it.
Thanaphan Chuboon, Pretty Boy, April 7, 2019
Source: https://www.gotoknow.org/posts/661286
Father Teaching Daughter by Asst. Prof. Dr. Thanaphan Chuboon