On January 17, 2016, there was a television news report.
A baby’s body with an umbilical cord was found floating along the Chao Phraya River in Samut Prakan Province. The news anchor said that there would be a follow-up to arrest this cruel mother. This news reflects that women who are not ready to raise a child, when there is no agency to help, cannot solve the problem, must give birth and break the law, and are also condemned and stigmatized. Meanwhile, the men who contributed to the pregnancy and should be responsible are not mentioned.
On the other hand, it might be due to the lack of access to medical services, from when the problem could still be solved. The problem may be complex and hidden, or it may be due to a lack of knowledge in managing love, disappointment, breakups, pregnancy, and not being physically and mentally prepared.
There are many such news stories, for example, last January, a 12th-grade female student hanged herself because her boyfriend broke up with her, and a young man shot himself due to problems with his girlfriend. In my own experience, a few days ago, I met a young man who said he broke up with a girlfriend he had been with for a year and had a new girlfriend, but after only 3 months, they broke up and he got another new girlfriend. They dated for 5 months and broke up again… It’s a phenomenon of dating and breaking up that has become normal. But importantly, this young man used condoms 100% of the time with his first girlfriend and only didn’t use a condom once with his second girlfriend. Moreover, he got an HIV test 3 months after breaking up with his girlfriend to protect himself. Isn’t that great, kids? The test results showed that his blood was normal.
I will tell you about meeting two young women. Both came to consult about unplanned pregnancies, but how they differed, follow me.
The first one is 18 years old, studying in vocational certificate year 2, came with two friends of the same age. “I want to know how many months pregnant I am,” she said. She had been with her boyfriend for 2-3 months and had sex with him 2-3 times a month. She never used condoms, and her boyfriend always ejaculated outside. Her periods were irregular, sometimes not coming at all. The last time was on July 29, 2015. She missed her period for several months but didn’t check anything, thinking it was normal for her. I asked if she had any symptoms, and she said that in November, she felt dizzy, sometimes vomited, urinated frequently day and night, her breasts grew larger, she ate more, felt tired, exhausted, and sleepy all the time, but she wasn’t sure if she was pregnant.
These are the symptoms of pregnancy, kids, remember. In December, she asked her friend, who told her to see a doctor, but she hesitated. In mid-January, she asked a friend who was also a relative, who looked and felt her belly and said it was big. The relative volunteered to tell her mother because she didn’t dare. Her father had passed away long ago. Her mother asked what she wanted to do next. She said she wanted to continue studying, so her mother took her for a check-up. The ultrasound results showed the fetus’s head measured 59 mm, and the femur was 44 mm long, equivalent to almost 25 weeks of pregnancy. She called her mother about this, and both her mother and she asked for help to terminate the pregnancy.
What do you think, kids? Too late? Can it be helped or not?
The other one is a 16-year-old girl, studying in vocational certificate year 1, came with her mother and father. “I’m here to consult about being pregnant. I’m not ready,” she said. She remembered her last period was from October 29 to November 2 last year, but she said her period usually came at the beginning of the month, sometimes at the end, and some months it didn’t come at all. Like in December, it didn’t come. She didn’t think she was pregnant because she had missed it before, but she became suspicious when her period didn’t come again in January this year. This time she thought and tested her urine on January 15, and the result was pregnant! What would she do next? Would she tell her mother? She said, “I think I have to tell my mother as soon as possible.” She thought, “Even if my mother scolds me, she can help me… If I think on my own, I can’t figure out what to do… I don’t ask my friends because they probably can’t help.”
This is a good thought. The ultrasound measured the amniotic sac at 9 mm wide, with no embryo found, equivalent to 5 weeks of pregnancy. If counting the pregnancy from the first day of the last period, which was October 29, to January 15, it would be 11 weeks pregnant. This shows the pregnancy is smaller than the missed period, which can be found in people with irregular periods and uncertain ovulation days. It’s her luck that she got pregnant because her boyfriend used condoms only 40% of the time, only in the beginning, and never took emergency contraceptive pills. She thought it wouldn’t be easy to get pregnant because last year she had another boyfriend, used emergency contraceptive pills sometimes, didn’t protect, and never got pregnant.
Thinking like this, I see it as extremely risky. She has now broken up with her boyfriend because he was too attached to his friends and didn’t care about her. During their relationship, she loved him very much because he was honest, did whatever she asked, accepted her completely, and she could talk to anyone, even tomboys. Now she is not ready and wants to finish her studies. Her mother strongly disagrees with her being pregnant and says the boy doesn’t study, is unruly, and is not suitable for her daughter. But the daughter is stubborn, likes to argue with her mother, doesn’t tell the truth, and spends money lavishly, even a thousand baht a day is not enough. The father is quiet, smiles, seems kind, and agrees with the daughter wanting to finish her studies.
In conclusion…
The first teenager thought slower, found out later, so the pregnancy was very advanced, making it difficult and dangerous to terminate. The latter thought faster, found out much earlier, making it easier and safer to resolve. But what makes me happy is that both trusted their mothers and opened up about their problems. The mothers were supportive, so in the end, both could solve their problems. I’m happy for them.
With love and care
Dr. Ruangkit Sirikanchanakul, RSA Network Coordinator
Source: www.lovecarestation.com