The highlight of this conference came from questioning oneself: if you have a partner and end up having sex, you will be criticized for “having sex after the appropriate age.” See, women are criticized no matter what.
Date September 9, 2007
Today is Sunday, the last day of the 18th week. Counting down, there are only 66 days left. Since last Tuesday, I returned home to participate in organizing a workshop on caring for women who have had miscarriages in Songkhla, hosted by the Reproductive Health Division, Department of Health. This time, Hat Yai Hospital and my department co-hosted, so I wanted to write about it in parts.
On Tuesday morning, I went for the usual morning round. Anita hadn’t come to work yet. I was free because Teacher Leela was off, so the clinic was closed. I left the hospital around 10 a.m. I went to the mall to buy fruits to take home as requested by the two girls at home. I bought strawberries, kiwis, and fresh prunes. Then I went back to my room to get my very heavy bag (7.9 kilograms, weighed at the airport) because I took clothes home to wash, which had been left for over two weeks. I don’t like washing clothes here because they don’t get very clean, and the colors fade every day. I don’t know why. Another thing is that they don’t iron very smoothly. I took my stuff to the airport, ate Mee Siam, and then boarded the plane.
Today, the plane was 15 minutes late. Jim was already waiting to pick me up. As soon as I got out of the airport, Ple called me immediately, asking me to attend a meeting to prepare for tomorrow’s event. I said I had a lot to do and asked if I could skip the meeting, pretending I wasn’t there. But Ple wouldn’t agree. So, I quickly dropped Jim off at the hospital, picked up Ja at home, and she ran to hug me tightly. After several kisses, I took her to pick up Paeng at school. She ran out of the school building so fast that I was worried she might fall. We hugged again as usual. This one couldn’t speak, just hugged. I didn’t take the kids home because I stopped by the department first. When I arrived at the old house, everyone greeted each other loudly. I hadn’t seen these talkative people for over four months. Ple probably heard the noise and called me in for a meeting immediately. Actually, Ple had already prepared a lot for the event. This was probably the final meeting. There were issues with patient beds, workers, and helpers. After a brief discussion, the meeting ended. I didn’t have any role at all. I told you, Ple and Eang (my department secretary) are already pros.
I took my daughters home and quickly went out for a haircut because I was starting to look like a young Tarzan. Then I picked up Jim and went home. Believe it or not, Khia had made sour bamboo shoot curry for me. I smiled broadly because I had been craving it for several days. Before boarding the plane, I was upset with myself for not telling the family to prepare it. Look at this, now I get to eat what I wanted. Truly blessed.
Meeting on Miscarriage 1: Wednesday, September 5, 2007
On Wednesday morning, I had to wake up early. Paeng woke up at 6:20 a.m., which has been her usual time since she started first grade. She has never been late to school (knock on wood). Life for kids outside the capital is like this. They don’t have to wake up at 5 a.m., eat breakfast in the car, and then take a nap before reaching school. Ja cried because she wanted to go too, but she probably cried just for the sake of it because, in the end, she came to kiss me before I drove off. I dropped Paeng off and quickly drove to Songkhla.
We held the meeting at the BP Samila Hotel. It took 40 minutes to get there. I couldn’t drive into the hotel because it was restricted. There was security for a meeting of ministers from Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia. I don’t know what it was about, but there were many police and soldiers in the hotel.
When I entered the meeting, they had already opened the event and were arranging the room for a group photo. I said this event was “Nonglak’s brand” because Nonglak always insisted on having a group photo every time, never missing it. I arrived just in time to greet many beloved people, including Nonglak herself, Professor Pramuan, Professor Kamhaeng, Professor Suvachai, Professor Pratak, Professor Kritaya, and Professor Ronachai. There were so many greetings that I couldn’t keep up. Unfortunately, Professor Taweekiat and Professor Sanya couldn’t make it.
After the break, we started with a discussion by three great individuals (in my opinion): Meechai Veeravaidya (whom everyone probably knows well), Professor Kritaya Archavanitkul from the Institute for Population and Social Research, Mahidol University, and Professor Ronachai Kongsakon, a psychiatrist from Ramathibodi Hospital.
This discussion was moderated by Professor Nanta Uamkul from the Department of Health, whom I like very much because she is a moderator who resonates with me. She is simple, not flashy, but captures the main points well and flows smoothly, which is music to my ears.
It started with Professor Kritaya presenting stories about being a woman, pregnancy, societal expectations, and qualitative research that she and her students conducted together. I like her speeches every time; I never get sleepy listening to them, even if they are the same stories. Her presentation methods are never the same. The term “unplanned pregnancy” came from her student’s research. She talked about how society places the burden on women for having sex, contraception, pregnancy, and other issues.
Society always shifts the burden of immorality onto women. For example, when men have premarital sex, no one cares, but when it’s women, society views them as bad. Older women who are unmarried are gossiped about as being left on the shelf.
But nowadays, these things are changing because we see many unmarried women who are self-sufficient. However, the burden has shifted more to men. Those who are unmarried are often seen as gay (haha). Women still bear the burden of contraception, having to take pills, get injections, implants, and use IUDs, while men often don’t have to take responsibility. The highlight of this conference came from questioning oneself: if you have a partner and end up having sex, you will be criticized for “having sex after the appropriate age.” See, women are criticized no matter what.
Professor Ronachai spoke about the perspective of women who become pregnant when not ready from a psychiatrist’s point of view. He suggested that
there is a lot of stress in this case. He looked far ahead to the birth of unwanted children, saying that they might become a burden to society in the future because children who lack love and attention are indeed a societal problem.
He also talked about the impact on women who have had abortions and post-abortion. Professor Ronachai is one of those who helped push for the Medical Council’s regulations on caring for women who have had miscarriages to be implemented today. He encountered patients with problems from unplanned pregnancies and patients who attempted suicide. We thus understood the issues related to psychiatric diagnosis associated with unplanned pregnancies. Every time he lectured, there was one slide that always appeared: a picture of a Viagra pharmacy openly selling, while cheap abortion pills sold next door had many barriers to access, making them difficult to buy.
He said that drugs that make the penis erect, promoting sex, are not criticized by society. Drugs that make people easily pregnant have no access issues, but drugs that help people with problems, even though they are cheap, are inaccessible. Our society is like this. Abortion pills, costing about 10 baht, are sold on the black market for 500-1,000 baht per pill. How about that? Making a fortune.
It ended with Meechai opening the topic with the phrase “Let’s have more abortions,” which stunned everyone. The implication of this statement is to open up and accept patients with unplanned pregnancies. Some doctors who provide abortion services are selfless. They help women with problems avoid the risks of illegal abortions, which are dirty and unsafe. Think about it; if they intend to have an abortion, they will do it anyway. If doctors refuse to do it, they will go to illegal practitioners (I elaborated on this myself).
Before the discussion ended, Nonglak connected a call for him to talk to a doctor in Udon Thani who was arrested for running an abortion clinic. We learned that he was detained at a safe house for about 3 hours and was pressured to confess to performing abortions. Nonglak contacted Professor Taweekiat to be a legal advisor. Meechai told us that no doctor has ever been prosecuted for performing abortions and imprisoned. We joked that Professor Pramuan should try getting arrested once; it would surely make headlines. We would finally see the standards for such legal cases. Meechai assured us that there is no way they would be prosecuted.
In the afternoon, it started with Professor Pramuan, former secretary of the Medical Council and former president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, who was crucial in initiating this Medical Council regulation. He talked about the history of the law, the attempts to change the wording in Article 305, which has always been influenced by politics, sometimes even by a single person.
Then there was a lecture on counseling in cases where abortion occurs in people who want children. This condition is a genetic disorder in the fetus. Professor Chanin from Siriraj, the same one, never fails to inform, never makes me sleepy listening to his lectures. He said his profession is being a speaker, but he speaks to couples with problems. He is a royal scholarship student who has returned to repay his homeland well. I couldn’t stay until the end because I had heard it many times before, but I was rushing to pick up my wife and kids to stay at the hotel. Nonglak had booked a room for us so we could continue socializing in the evening. By the time I returned to the hotel, it was already 6 p.m. I quickly packed and went down to the pool with my two daughters. This time, Ja joined in, laughing happily, unlike when we went to Koh Lanta, where she was afraid of the pool. We played in the water for about 20 minutes and then hurried up because we had dinner at 6:30 p.m.
The evening party included Professor Weerapol, the head of my department. I got to talk to him about studying further and various issues happening in the department. Currently, three professors from the department are studying abroad. Professor Kiang is in England, Professor Tor is in America and will return at the end of this month, and Professor Mint is in Japan. As for me, I’m studying in another province, Singapore.
I didn’t talk for long before going to bed because my daughters called. Ja had just fallen asleep for less than 5 minutes. She told Paeng that Dad was talking downstairs and then fell asleep. Paeng hugged me for another 5 minutes before falling asleep too. The youngest daughter has made progress, especially in language development. She can speak long sentences, make requests or refusals, sing short songs, and eat by herself. I think she’s better than Paeng at the same age because Paeng didn’t eat by herself until she went to school. We had to feed her and ask her to open her mouth. The little one eats better, has stopped using a bottle, and drinks from a carton. But since she vomited and had diarrhea last week, she stopped drinking milk again. Oh well.
Source: https://www.gotoknow.org/posts/126897 by Assistant Professor Dr. Thanaphan Chuboon